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Writer's pictureLisa Evans

People Pleaser Syndrome

Have you ever been trapped in the people-pleaser syndrome?

I sure have! I want to share with you today from experience that if you are living in the people-pleaser trap, you will never move forward in life. The idea of living to please people will only hold you back!

The truth is that worrying about what people think can consume and even ruin special moments. For real, it will rob your joy!

The Bible does NOT say ~ The joy of people is my strength!

(It does not say that anywhere, my friend. )

However, it DOES SAY...

Nehemiah 8:10 that the joy of the Lord is our strength.

If you want to live the life you have always dreamed of living, then I promise you don’t want to base your moves on people. People will disappoint you, people don’t always show grace, and JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS IN YOUR CIRCLE OF LIFE, DOESN’T MEAN THEY ARE IN YOUR CORNER.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to paint a picture that says that all people are bad. OF COURSE, not!!! People are amazing. NO, really!

People can be helpful and in the right ways, we can learn a lot from listening to people.

Yet again, I say, your life is not meant to please people. Your life is meant to please the Lord. I want to share with you a few thoughts I have jotted down through the years. Some are my own, and some I have applied from books and overall lessons learned.

When you want to live free of people pleasing...

1. Remember- Even God can’t please everyone.

With everything God did for us and the amazing life lived by Jesus we still see many people speak against Jesus. Many people questioned, abused, and even turned their back on Him. Yet, Jesus stayed true to the will of God.

He said I am here to do the Will of the Father. Guess what, You are too!

2. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy.

Your happiness nor your joy come from people. If you wait for everyone's approval that you want, then you are going to be waiting a long time. You will be the one missing out on all that God has for you. Do you have God’s approval? If so, march on my friend!

3. I only (HAVE) to please one person. (Jesus)

If you have joined me in abundant life, which ultimately means a relationship with Jesus, then you know that one day we will all give an account for our life! And by the way, if you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, that is definitely where you need to start to be free! When you see Jesus in heaven, He is not going to ask you if you pleased people. He is going to ask you if you were faithful with the life He gave you. And guess what, we only get one life!!! That life is filled with purpose that is defined in the Bible and it doesn't say anywhere that you were created in the image of God to please people.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made and created in the image of God to please the lord, worship the Lord and desire to be more like Him every day! Let’s be challenged and reminded to spend our lives bringing glory to God and living to the audience of one. You will be the one to give an account of your life, not the people.

4. Lastly, this one comes with a personal story!

For 25 years of my life, I have served in ministry. My husband and I are lead pastors. We have served churches all across the state of North Carolina. When you pastor, you serve people. But more importantly, you serve God.

For ministry and your life~ you get your orders from God.

Where do you serve? Medical field, teaching, factory work, grocery store, retail, in your home, the list is endless…… wherever that is, you get your orders from God.

When you get up in the morning, ask the Lord to guide your steps. Ask Him to keep your eyes on Him. As you do this you will find that the fear, anxiety, and worry that accompanies people pleasing will flee.

There is a plaque in my office space at my home that says:

LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH INTENTION,

LIVE THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF;

THE LIFE YOU HAVE ALWAYS IMAGINED LIVING.

To do this, you can’t people please. Why? Because people pleasing causes you to focus on the wrong thing. You are constantly looking to the right and the left. You are being tossed around like a wave!

Ephesians 4:14. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

People-pleasers tend to drift through life with aimless purpose.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE~ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE.

You are God’s chosen.

Be intentional today, my friend.

It’s a life given to you by God, give it back to Him and LIVE to please the Lord.

Blessings!

Pastor Lisa

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